Sex Offenders Offer Insight

Letter in local newspaper

This letter is the final result of a group effort. The "group" in this case consists of convicted sex offenders.

We are writing this letter, not to instill paranoia in the citizens of this town, but to educate you all, make amends to those we have hurt, and to end the stereotypical thinking concerning sex offenders. But most of all, we hope to show children and their parents how to avoid becoming victims.

First of all, we would like to talk about stereotypes. We are not all old men hanging around the school with a bag of candy. In fact, we're not all men. And we're not necessarily the person you've never seen in your neighborhood before. We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ages and genders. And statistics will show, that in most cases the sex-offender is a family member, neighbor, trusted friend, or somebody in an authority position. The one thing many of us do have in common is that we, too, were the victims of abuse. This point is not made to suggest that all sex-offenses are learned behaviors. We say this to illustrate the fact that child abuse is a vicious cycle, and the only way to end it is by education before the fact and qualified psychological or psychiatric help for the perpetrators of abuse.

Second, we want to help the parents understand the warning signs that their children may be suffering abuse.

1) If your child's behavior changes suddenly and drastically.

2) If somebody is paying more attention to your child than is necessary or proper.
(i.e. buying him or her gifts frequently, becoming more physically affectionate than previously).

3) If your child suddenly becomes withdrawn or frequently angry.

4) If your child begins to avoid a person he or she was previously very close to.

This list is not all inclusive, and certainly does not mean that somebody who hugs your child intends to commit some kind of heinous crime. But if the affection shown to your child makes you uncomfortable, you need to know the steps to take. That brings us to our next point.

If you have children, grandchildren, or nieces or nephews, talk to them. Explain to them the difference between "good touching" and "bad touching". Most important, assure your child that if somebody is touching them in an improper manner, that it is not his or her fault, and they should tell somebody immediately. In many cases of child abuse, the victim is ashamed, assumes blame for the abuse. Therefore, the abuse goes unreported, and continues and escalates.

Last, if you are abusing a child, or feel that you might, please seek some form of qualified professional help. Consider the psychological damage the child will have to live with for the rest of his or her life. Until you take that step, the cycle of abuse will continue.

We thank you all for your time, and hope that we have helped somebody.