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Posted by sad19 : What to do
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I am married into a family of a convicted child molester. He did 8 years in prison for his crimes. He is now out and no longer on parole or probation. The problem: I am the sister inlaw. He has 8 brothers and sisters. He lives in the same state as my mother in law and the youngest sister of this family. My mother in law and sister in law lived in the same home along with my sister in laws 4 children. He was allowed in the home and even babysat for the children. The oldest child claimed that she was molested by my brother in law. Every one in the family was outraged that he was even allowed around her. After an investigation he was cleared from these accusations. Gave his life to the Lord and all is now well with the family.

So now he has moved in with this family. My sister in law has left the household to live with another man. The family thinks there is nothing wrong with this situation. I on the other hand cannot let go of this. What is my role in all of this when every one in this family has put a halo on his head and thinks nothing of the feelings of this little girl. After speaking with serveral members of this family I no longer want anything to do with them. 

I would certainly appreciate any opinions that are out there.


Sorry about the one post was spam from that person.

Guess i need to tighten the way people reg. for the forum.

But to give you my opinion on your post....

Even tho he gave his life to God, which is wonderful.  The urge, feelings, lust, etc is still there.  He will still be attracted to children.  As you can see from my Child Abuse site, most of the time people cannot face that it is a family member doing the abuse, nor can the see most times the abuser is a family member.

He has done it in the past, and being around children will most likely do it again.  Just being around the children will be a trigger for him.  Think of it this way...You stop smoking cigs, you do well when your not around anyone smoking, but when someone near you lights up or you see an ad, or a pack laying around you want one.  ( I'm working on stopping smoking myself and it is very hard heh )

But in the above case, even tho he may be doing his best not to reoffend etc...just being around them will bring back the memorys, feelings, wants, etc ( what ever may drive him and his abuse ).

He may do good and not re offend but in my opinion, its like me wanting a cig, when I'm near it I want it, and if there is a pack I am going to get one!!

My prayers are with you Sandy, I pray that he wont re offend, and things work out for you and the family.

Is there anything I can do.

ake a look at my abuse site....this page may help

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It will give you an idea of what to keep an eye out for.

Remember just because some or a lot of the signs are noticeable, you still need proof.  As in take the child to a doctor or someone if you can.  (without getting yourself in trouble)

There are also abuse hot lines you can call if you suspect it is going on, you will have to check with your area.

Other then that, you may be able to pull someone else from the family into focus on the dangers etc of what is or may or will go on.

Everything I've read on it says an abuser can not be cured, but like any addiction can fight it etc with help.  Some abusers never offend again while others do.  You really can not tell who will and who want.

As before my prayers are with you.

I hope this helps you some.

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