Keep your Marriage Alive ~ Hugs and Smiles

Keep your marriage alive If you find your marriage stagnating, or find
that you are too tired tokeep the spark of romance alive, you need
help. Marriage requires effort to make it vibrant and enduring.
Sometimes it means listening to your spousewhen you'd rather go to
sleep, hanging up the wet towel once again, and even taking out the
garbage. Putting your partner first through littledaily acts of
kindness, or mounting a concerted effort to replace negative habit
patterns with positive ones, will help you treasure your marriage.

How to keep your marriage alive:

Choose to really listen to your spouse. Don't just think about how you
are going to respond.

Look for ways to serve, not be served. Let your spouse choose the
movie,have the favorite section of the newspaper, or choose the menu
for dinner.Be ready to say, Let's do it your way.

Become friends for life. Men value doing things together, while women
value talking together. Foster quality time together that combines
activity and conversation. Take a cooking class together, walk around
the soccer field while your children practice soccer, or run errands together.

Go on a date. Dates are really just scheduled time together. Time is
more valuable to a marriage than money. Create time in your day by
turning off the TV for 24 hours, or getting up a half hour earlier each
day to talk and pray. Let your children know that you need time for
just the two of you.

Be silly. Write each other notes or poems, buy little gifts, call just
to say I love you, give lots of hugs and kisses, and consistently
encourage one another.

Make a prayer date. Prayer is a unique resource for Christian
marriages.Start by reading Scriptures together. This will help you get
in tune with God and with each other. Talk about how God has answered
prayers in thepast and how He has led you in your life, your family,
and your marriage.Make a prayer list and write down specific requests.
Later, write in the answers to your prayers. If you don't think your
spouse would consider doing this, take the risk and suggest it. Let
your relationship with God foster closeness with your mate.

Adopt a daily sharing time. Set a regular time each day when the two
of you can spend 10 minutes and talk about these four questions:
1. How are you feeling since we last talked?
2. Is anything troubling you?
3. What plans do you have for the next 24 hours?
4. Are you aware of any issue in our relationship that we need to talk
about? Ideally, this would be the first thing in the morning, before
you start your day.

Do for others. Help build a house for Habitat for Humanity, mow the
lawn at church, adopt a missionary family, be an aunt and uncle for a
child in a single-parent home, help an elderly neighbor with special needs.

Develop the encouragement habit. Be ready to give support and comfort
during the critical and the mundane times of life. Decide to think
positively. Decide that you are in the marriage for the long haul and
that it is going to be an adventure and a delight.

David and Claudia Arp Claudia and David Arp, MSW, are the founders and
directors of Marriage Alive International. They host the nationally
syndicated radio program, The Family Workshop, and have been featured
on CBS This Morning. Their numerous books include 10 Great Datesto
Revitalize Your Marriage and Second Half of Marriage.

The Arps have been married 35 years and live in Knoxville,
Tenn.Marriage Alive, a church and community-focused ministry,
provideseasy-to-use, practical marriage and parenting educational
resources, including video packages, books, and Bible studies.
Seminars, consulting, and training are also available.

For more information about Marriage Alive resources contact: Marriage
Alive International, Inc., P.O. Box 31408, Knoxville, TN 37930. Phone:
888-690-6667, Fax: 423-691-1575, Email:mailine97@aol.com

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